‘RELIGIOUS RETREAT’

Aengus returns - Welcome back.

8th February 2010. 2000 Local Time: Position: East Cowes, Isle of Wight.
It’s hard to describe the sight that met my eyes last night, when after climbing the hill from the Cowes Chain Ferry to the Convent..... yes... not a typo.... the convent! I stumbled upon the returned ‘navigators’ stretched out upon flowery cushions in the ‘common room’ of the Nun’s house.
Bronzed and scantily clad, yet shivering, the returned adventures appear healthy and suffering a little from jet lag. The warmth that greeted me when I opened the door was explained by them using the central heating to slowly acclimatise to the 3 deg C outside temperatures, and their desire to maintain as long as they could the appearance of still being in the Caribbean.
They regaled me with stories of their adventures. The stories I heard bore no resemblance to those which have already appeared in the blog. These were stories of late night Full Moon parties, with simulated Erotic dancing routines. It would appear that national pride in ability to down the local brew on some of the Islands has been severely dented and that it may not be possible to return to certain areas in future. One of our gentlemen would appear to have broken the hearts of a string of local comely maidens. Some story was told about a party aboard a Superyacht owned by some Godfather. Then they tried to tell me that it was a godfather of a friend of Fiona. A likely story! I do not lie here, if anything, I am holding details back just in case of future litigation. However as I have now rejoined the group I must ask that I am not pressed on the details received during this debrief.
Enough to say that they all are well......!!!!
Well... Day 1 with Red Ensign....
First Aid, Instructor: Monica Dale.
The poor woman, I am sure she had no idea what to expect before we arrived. Once in the door we were directed to the Galley and immediately made a considerable dent in the contents of the Biscuit tin. Into the classroom and within minutes we were discussing blood and guts and what to do in a medical emergency. I don’t hold out much hope for any casualty’s who fall under the bandage of our happy crew. We learned not to put chopped off fingers in pockets, without placing a sign on the ‘corpse’. We discussed Health and Safety differences between both jurisdictions with Noel explaining in detail, the very high standards of H&S found in Ireland. After lunch we got down to the ‘touchy feely’ bits, with various people acting out life threatening injuries with pairs of First Responder’s. We probably didn’t score very high in the ‘comforting’ section of scenarios, perhaps that is an Irish trait, I don’t know. However in nearly all cases the nature of the injury was discovered and the casualty was passed to the professionals while still alive. First aid techniques included moving the casualty into more comfortable positions using whatever was handy, usually a boot. I can say that in real life all the casualties would have realised that they were in serious danger and likely to pass from this life unless they assisted the First Responders in every way possible. Finally we were each asked to put down on paper how we would like to treat people with various illness and injuries in future. We ensured that we wrote down what was in the book so I assume we will have passed with flying colours.
Tomorrow I feel, holds the greatest fear for all. The temperature of the water here in Cowes is about 3 deg C, similar to the present air temperature amid the very light snow shower. We will be required to demonstrate the Irish way of deploying, entering, righting, and generally operating a Liferaft. This will be done in the ‘real’ water.... none of this imaginary ‘swimming pool’ conditions. Exactly how far out from shore we will be is still in doubt. I personally hope it will be no more than 12”. To ensure they are properly prepared for this event, the younger members of the crew have decided to visit some local public places in an attempt to taste the local waters in anticipation. Of course, they forget that their bodies, are still a few hours behind, and it is likely we will not see them until the early hours of the morning.
Should your correspondent survive tomorrow’s trial, he will give a report, and hopes to include some photographs.